Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Getting Myself Sorted

I missed Sunday's ROW80 check-in. Something I had promised myself I wouldn't do. I might miss a Wednesday but I wanted to hit every Sunday update. Hell I just said that last Wednesday, and what happens? Sunday comes and BOOM...I miss it. *headdesks*

Then I was going to post my update Monday. But Monday was a bad day for a variety of reasons and all I really wanted to do was curl up on the couch and read. So, for most of the day, that's what I did. I had the day off after all, so I took advantage. But, I also did a lot of thinking and made some decisions.

I thought a lot about where I am in my life, what I'm doing and what my options are. I've said over and over again, I need to get out of this job I am in. People think I'm crazy when I say that but my job is awful. As in, it sucks the souls right out of me and every day I get more and more numb to the world around me. And my colleagues are the same-we're all shells of our former selves, walking around on automatic as we try to get through the day. [Note: not trying to get sympathy here, this is the just the way it is, for me. I know other people have equally crappy jobs; I've just reached my breaking point.]  The majority of the time the entire process leaves me feeling hollow, unable to sleep and walking around in a daze. This is not a healthy environment. Not for me. I can recognize this now and I need to get out, sooner rather than later. I am not even going to go into the specifics of the other drama in my life, my family, who thinks it's okay to use me as a middle person in their childish arguments and fights. *rolls eyes* But, needless to say, that is another reason for me to get the hell out of dodge and start living for me.

But I can't just drop everything and walk away tomorrow. To do this I need a plan. Sure, I have my 2013 plan (which is HERE), but I need to start refocusing my ROW80 goals to speed up this plan and I also need to add to that plan: to actively find other, and different, work.  This is something I've thought about for awhile, two years at least. I've looked into new jobs and moving during this time, but was never too serious about it. It was easier to bury my head in the sand and become distracted with other things. But I've come to realize that my life is flying by and all I can do is stare at it as it passes. I am not living; I'm just existing. I need to fix this and I think a new environment and a new start is the way to go.

It's time to step up and put a laser focus on what needs to get done.  Between the soul sucking day job, my part time teaching gig, looking for a new job, and writing, I need to prioritize. So here are my new ROW80 goals for this week:

  • Send out three resumes/applications this week
  • Continue edits and revisions of Finding Home and Wanted.  I am going to stick to these WIPs. No more procrastination and blaming it on these hippity-hoppity plot bunnies. They are getting a sedative until I'm done. I will still jot down notes if they come to me, but I am not going to touch them otherwise, until these two books are D.O.N.E. This might be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life but I am determined. 
  • Read/comment on a min. of 5 blogs
  • Reply to comments on this blog
  • Blog min. of one book review
  • Workout 3 times for the week
  • Check in on Sunday for ROW80
I took out my goal of writing 3K words a week and it likely won't be back for awhile. I know I can get the words down, easily. But now is not the time for that. I need to move forward, and not remain in stasis which, by continuing to write on new WIPs and not finishing the two that are 98% done, I am doing.

Only three weeks in and I'm rebooting my goals a bit, but I feel a whole lot better about things.  I hope everyone is doing well as we progress through the first round of ROW80. Are you having to re-focus your goals yet or are things smooth sailing so far?  Oh, and before I go, what do y'all think about the new color theme on the blog? I went with soft grey background with the black font, cause the white background just seemed too bright and hurt my eyes when I tried to read it. But my eyes suck so, what it okay for me might not be okay for you guys. Let me know what you think or if I need to readjust the colors for easier reading. Thanks! :D  Hope everyone has a great week and happy writing!

No comments:

Post a Comment